Nemo / Pixabay

It is so easy not to go out. To hibernate almost in January.

But when you do make yourself lear the housework and busyness behind for the day, you never know what you are going to find…

It was not the greatest weather. We were not super motivated. But experiences and opportunities only occur when you open your door to them, as this particular day attested.

THE WALK

Having looked on stridingedge.net, a beautiful walkers site, we had found a walk from Grasmere to Easdale Tarn and back over Silver How. According to the site, this walk would take us 2-3 hours, leaving plenty of time for tea and Gingerbread in Grasmere.

The initial walk up to the tarn was lovely. Easy to follow paths with gorgeous scenery, waterfalls and snow. Our real adventure for the day began as we headed past the Tarn to look for the path, which was clearly marked on the map, back over the hills to Silver How. This is where we learned that paths are much harder to find and follow when they are under a foot of snow!

JOINING FORCES

In our attempts to locate our path, with ended up joining forces with a man visiting from America, who was looking for the same walk. Where we may have previously been tempted to turn around, this teaming up brought our all our bravado and stupidity – so we headed on.
What a great decision.

NEW EXPERIENCES

The American – Mark – turned out to be a photographer. So there we are, Wednesday afternoon, between school runs, on top of a mountain, in the snow – having a photoshoot!!

Luckily Mark was also a great navigator, with a compass, so he helped to make sure we got back to Grasmere, if not in time for Gingerbread, in time to head back for the kids.

Remember – life will always be busy. Its hard to find the time – but so much richer and more rewarding for doing so.  Go on – Grab Opportunities

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MemoryCatcher / Pixabay

In August this year, with our friend Yvonne and Jenny’s husband, Earle, we are going to take on Oxfams Trailtrekker challenge.

This is a 100k walk through the Yorkshire Dales. It needs to be completed under 30 hours.

Its complete madness – luckily, we are always up for a bit of that!

WHY…

True to form – we like to take something that we love and take it to the next level. We loved walking. We wanted to keep doing it – we needed a reason -this gave us a big one.

There is a fear that we will grow to hate walking as much as Jenny now hates the pulp album that she played almost constantly for 6 months back when she bought it.

We hope this does not happen, we will be detailing our training for this event over the coming months – and we shall see…

SELF AWARENESS…

We also seem to have an innate need to feel challenged. We’ve never taken on a job, without aiming for the top job. We’ve never actually been satisfied with the level we were at – do this, but more/better.

When I am not challenged I tend to get bored or become unfocussed. Being challenged helps us to focus on and work at something.

We have made huge changes over the last year. We have paid more attention to the ‘soup for our souls’, But at the start of the new year – we felt the need for something which is measured.

its like: “I know I am happy, but i need an actual goal, that I actually tick off, so I am actually succeeding. Its not enough just to feel happy and successful – I need a certificate and medal to PROVE it!!!”

Luckily we recognise this about ourselves and are able to laugh at ourselves and each other.

Luckier still we found two other people equally stupidly competitive and challenge focussed to share this experience with.

We are walking the walk – literally – lets hope its not another Pulp!

If you want to support us we have a Facebook page:
Facebook
and a just giving page:
Just Giving

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Gadini / Pixabay

Want to Take Control?

Are you a pawn in someone else’s game?

Who is choosing your next move?

Which of these is true of your life?

• Someone else’s behaviour has upset you and ruined your day
• Your children have made you cross because their room is a mess.
• Your wife turned off the alarm and that made you late.
• Your boss behaves in a way that you find incredibly frustrating.
• You feel powerless
• You are not in control of your own life.

Could this be true?

• You chose to get upset.
• You can choose not to be affected by others behaviours.
• This would be empowering.
• This would give you control.
• Nobody else is responsible for your emotional reactions – you are accountable for how you feel!”

Tough one this.

We struggled to get our heads around this when we first encountered it.

But just think about this…

Someone is shouting into the faces of you and your friends.  One of you could be very upset and intimidated by this.  Another could get very angry themselves.  Someone else could find it ridiculous and funny.

So was the shouty person RESPONSIBLE for each of your reactions?

Or are these reactions YOURS.  From how you have lived your life.  From the experiences you have had.  You may not be able to change all of those reactions.  But knowing your limitations is the key to personal empowerment.

Instead of blaming others – accept your reactions.  They are you and yours.  This will make you feel so much more powerful and in control.

Learning to take full responsibility for our actions and reactions also provides us with an opportunity to change or develop or accept and embrace.

Our stories:

Jenny: “I was inspired to consider these ideas after reading “The Chimp Paradox” on holiday last year.  This book made so much sense to me and encouraged me to change the way I viewed my own behaviour.  One thing in particular was that  I accepted that I am someone who cries and gets emotional in a fraught situation.  I decided then  that where I could, I would not shout back.  I would try not to lose my temper.  I could try and let things go.  I should try and prevent a situation from escalating to the point where I would cry.  Since embracing this idea, I have found that I am happier, more settled and I have less arguments.  I am not always saying to others – I can’t believe you upset me like that.  Also if I do end up crying – I don’t spend hours afterwards feeling cross with someone else, for MAKING me cry.  I accept that this is just who I am.  This is what happens to me.  I feel so much more in control of my life as a result.”

Sara: “Learning to accept and take responsibility for my actions and reactions has left me feeling powerful and far less intimidated.  It hasn’t been easy.  It has taken some difficult soul searching and a fair amount of apologising.  It has been something that needs practice and perseverance, but ultimately taking responsibility for how I feel has created an opportunity to develop and grow.  Knowing that no one is to BLAME for the way a situation leave me feeling, put all the power back into my hands – right where it should be.  Why on earth would I give that power to anyone else.  There are times when it is very difficult.  There are times when I know I would not be in a situation if it was not for another persons behaviour.  But I will always in that situation ask myself – what could I have done differently, in order to give myself a bit of control back.”

WHY?

If we get stuck in that loop of blaming others for our reactions.  If we are always looking outside of ourselves for someone else to take responsibility.  We deny ourselves power and control.  We are also denying ourselves the opportunity to understand our strengths, weaknesses and limits.  Thus losing the chance to grow and to change.  To develop our strength, confidence and self esteem.

Nemo / Pixabay

Build your confidence and self esteem.

The reason it is such a powerful tool to use.  The reason it helps you to grow your confidence and self esteem is because if you are taking responsibility for the bad stuff, for your negative reactions.  Then you can take responsibility for the joys in your life.  You can pat yourself on the back for each time you take control.  You can recognise your own power and relish and enjoy your successes.

It will not be easy.  It will take determination and perseverance.  You will not always manage it.  But it will be worth it.

Just after we wrote this article, this tune came on the radio. It seemed appropriate – have a listen:
Wilson Phillips – Hold on.

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22 Miles – Ambleside to Coniston and back.

AKA: WHY DID WE THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO LISTEN TO THE IRON MAN TRIATHLETE AT THE GYM CHRISTMAS PARTY?

Never ones to shy away from a challenge – 5.30am Sunday 19th April, found us heading towards Ambleside to take on Spring in Lakeland – something which had been suggested by an iron man triathlete we had met at our gym christmas party!  It was also an opportunity to get our team together and get a good idea of whether we are even going to be able to complete the 100KM when we do our oxfam trailtrekker challenge.

For those not familiar with the event, Spring in Lakeland is a 22 mile walk, organised by the LDWA, walking from Ambleside to Coniston and back – over some beautiful Lakeland passes and through some gorgeous scenery.

Also with us today we had the third member of our team for Trailtrekker – Yvonne – who we had recruited for her insanity and fitness – she regularly chooses to spend her Sundays running half marathons.

CAR PARK BREAKFAST

Sign on for the event was 7am – (we had got out of bed at 5am to avoid the traffic, which surprisingly enough was non existent at 5.30 on a Sunday morning).  7.30am found us in Amblesdie football club car park having our breakfast.

Sara eating her £1.50 booths instant porridge.

Both of us deluding ourselves that although Yvonne was fit – she wasn’t a walker like us – so we were going to show her how it was done today.  A further delusion was that we would easily be back before all the ‘old folk’ donning their gators around us.

We were feeling surprisingly professional for this walk, having purchased for ourselves (matching) Aldi walking trousers – with vents!  All in all the day started with a great deal of optimism, delusion and sunshine – only one of the three remained at the end of the day.

Feeling optimistic, excited and delusional, with new team member – Yvonne,  before we started.

Identify SOMEONE to get past…

Our first lesson was learned as we set off – all the gatored ‘old folk’ charged off at a hell of a pace – although obviously we believed at that point they would quickly burn out – we would be taking them later.  However, when we found ourselves being dropped at an alarming rate as we climbed the first hill we decided to scale down our ambitions – Sara identified a limping man ahead and stated that we HAD to get past him – and stay past.   This was achieved only by the skin of our teeth – and with much puffing and panting.  This brought about a realisation that walking with a large group of other people was exposing our competitiveness – leading to this being one of the fastest walks we had done to date.  It also caused much disappointment that actually we were nowhere near as ‘walk fit’ as many of the others out there.

 Limping man is ahead – heads down we march to overtake him – with much effort.

Having reset our benchmark at beat the limping man, we then had to come to terms with the fact that the newest member of our team was significantly fitter than us – we had to watch her backside disappear before us at every hill we climbed and simply put out heads down to try and catch up at the top.  All the while looking over our shoulders as we struggled to stay ahead of the limping man!

Yvonne – the mountain climbing machine – ahead of us, as was the norm for the day.

It was an absolutely lovely day, the lake district was at its best, bathed in sunshine with stunning views around every corner – one of the main reasons we love walking there so much.  However, the hard part of being out there on such a beautiful day was walking past pubs and some of our favourite cafes – like chesters –  with cold shandies, cakes and tea shouting at us as we did so.

Beautiful Lake District scenery 

THE LESSONS OF THE DAY

• Vasaline is vital to prevent blistering.  The one victory we had over Yvonne was that she had scoffed at Saras vaseline on the feet suggestion and she was the only one to end up with blisters!

VASALINE!

• We are not as good as we think we are
• Dont underestimate old people in Gators or marathon runners (or limping men)
• Check your equipment before heading off, taking your 11 year old daughters coat is not going to be any good if it rains, is it Jenny.

Its the wrong coat!

• Walking past pubs and tea rooms is heartbreaking
• 22 miles on the flat is nothing compared to 22 miles over hills and fells
• WE BLOODY LOVED IT DESPITE ALL OF THIS.

What a great day, with great friends.

PAIN IS TEMPORARY, PRIDE LASTS FOREVER

If we are honest at the end of the day we were all doubting whether we would actually be able to complete the 100KM challenge.  This day, rather than reenforcing our belief in our ability to complete the trail trekker challenge made us fear that each of us would back out.  If  our feet and legs were really sore after 22 miles, what sort of state would we be in after 60? The thought of walking the course two more times seemed not only unbearable but also impossible.

However, reliving the day with our families.  Looking through all the pictures we had taken.  Discussing the high and low points of the day and  soothing the aches with a glass of wine made us realise how much we had enjoyed ourselves.   We were proud of what we had achieved, our families and children were proud of what we had accomplished.  We wanted more – we just need to train more, stay positive and believe in ourselves and if all else fails…head back to our lovely delusions – after all ignorance is bliss.

Proud and Happy – also we were not LAST!! There were at least 10-15 people (ok out of 150) behind us!

NOTE: the next morning was not as bad as we had feared.  The pain was indeed temporary, so we headed off to circuit training as usual and put our heads firmly back into the clouds.

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Adventures always sound very appealing and exciting.  However the word adventure tends to conjure up huge ideas – we can all sit and plan and think about those adventures we would really like to have.

However, will we ever have the money, time and bravery all at the same time to actually embark on a big adventure?  Plus if we do, it is likely to be just once within our lifetime.

When we sit with that thought -‘ its a once in a lifetime’ – it has to be perfect.  Second best won’t do.   So much time is given over to dreams and planning and waiting for just the right time, weather and opportunity.

TIME TO SCALE BACK

Its time to scale back those dreams, to allow adventure into your life in a smaller way - its time for the micro adventure.

CARPE DIEM – SEIZE THE DAY

Throw caution to the wind, leave your comfort zone – get into your stretch zone.  Get out your high tog sleeping bag, your water proofs and your gin and head off for a micro adventure, in the forests of the UK rather than the tropics.

HOW

• Book a yurt, in February,
• add 4 children,
• throw in a young crazy dog
• add in two crazy mid-lifers,
• sprinkle in plenty of food and alcohol – mix well and you have your self a micro adventure!

NOTHING IS GUARANTEED

We have never done this before, we have never even been away together before, will everyone get on, what will it be like all sleeping together in one space, with the crazy dog?  The weather could be dreadful.  But this was not the time  to sit and worry about those things.  We had little to lose – what was the worst that could happen?

The possibility was that we could actually have a great time – why not give it a go?  It was not expensive.  It was not a long journey – it was worth the risk.

Plus, Jenny is easily led and Sara is the stupid, adventurous type – thus why we are also embarking on a 100K walk for Oxfam. (100K Madness)

THE TRUTH

• The dog had rampant diarrhoea and sickness – all night long.
• The rain hitting the top of the yurt – all night – is a noise akin to tap dancing elephants.
• Awaking in the morning we were extremely bleary eyed and breathing out steam, it was so cold.
• It was almost too cold to get out the sleeping bags to light the fire.
• It was wet, it was dirty, the kids’ DS’s had run out of battery …

IT WAS GREAT!!!

WHAT?????

What kid doesn’t enjoy a bit of mud? Freed from technology  they explored the farms and woods.  They made friends with goats and cats.  They painted their faces with charcoal to become  woodland warriors.

We lit a campfire and cooked sausages and marshmallows.  We sang our hearts out around it.

We cooked over our log burning stove – feeling very ‘Little House on the Prairie’

We wrapped up and went for an amazing walk through the forest.

We discovered waterfalls.

The kids went paddling!

We ate the biggest cakes we had ever seen – bigger than your head, they had to be seen to be believed and were utterly delicious too.

Because the kids were ‘free range’, we were able to sit back and relax.  Laugh.  Drink.  Enjoy ourselves.

The night rewarded our adventurous spirit with the clearest most star filled skies any of us had ever seen, it was beautiful.

SO DON’T WAIT.

Don’t wait for a once in a lifetime, that lets face it, may never happen.  Don’t leave it until your kids are too old or grown up to start enjoying adventures.  Just scale back your vision.  Be brave.  Make things happen.  Enjoy yourselves, get dirty, have fun, make memories.

Have a micro adventure of your own.

Our inspiration for all this came from Alistair Humphreys, he says:

‘ Adventure is only a state of mind.  Adventure is stretching yourself, mentally, culturally or physically.  It is about doing what you do not normally do, pushing yourself hard and doing it to the best of your ability.’

See his web page: alastairhumphreys.com for your own ideas.  He also has a new book out on this very subject called “micro adventures” if you are feeling really inspiried by our (micro) adventurous spirit.

LINKS:

Grizedale Forest Campsite
The Sun Cottage Cafe, Hawkshead.

What will you be doing?

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Its 13th January, a new year and what have we learned so far…

• There are countless weight loss programs on the TV – take your pick of which diet will work for you.
• We have been inundated with super foods we should be eating and danger foods we should avoid completely if we don’t want to be ‘failures’.
• Everyone has a new range of sportswear.

Channel four has informed us that some people are too fat to leave their houses or to work in week long series of ‘fat shaming & fear mongering’ programs.
Many people have started Dryanuary

Weight Watchers and slimming world have special offers on to help us lose those unwanted pounds.

We have been sent endless offers for raspberry ketones and colon cleanses…

WHAT IS THE PROBLEM HERE?

How much information can I really absorb in mere thirteen days and why is so much of it conflicting?
How is anyone meant to know what to do and ultimatly how does this make us feel about ourselves? Is this actually more about shame, guilt and yes – cashing in, than health?

We would love in January to be flooded instead with thought provoking programs about peoples positive journeys. Peoples stories. Things that will inspire and challenge us to try something new and exciting.

THE PROBLEM WITH JANUARY

Weight is not just an issue after Christmas. Weight is an ongoing issue and is often linked to how we feel about ourselves and our lives. January is potentially the worst time to be trying to sort that out. Our mood is lower and the pressure is high thanks to all these programs and adverts.
Lack of daylight, overspending, the emotional crash after christmas, the miserable cold weather all come together to ensure that January is when we feel at our lowest. Does all of this not just add to that and therefore make the feeling of faliue all the more likley? Anybody depressed yet?

COULD IT BE DIFFERENT

So what if I indulged for a couple of weeks. So what if I gained a few pounds. Surely it would be better to learn to feel good about myself and the choices that i make. not to feel guilty or to be shamed. To realise that if i starve myself or punish myself with a gruelling exercise regime i will just yoyo back to where i started.
We postpone happiness until we have achieved our weight loss goals. Why? How does this help us deal with our issues around food and exercise. All of this would have us believe that we are not allowed to be happy until we are thinner and we will never be thin enough!
BUT
We have a sneaking suspicion that if we dealt with our emotional issues and ALLOWED ourselves to be happy that our motivation would soar, any excess weight would start to come off, our body image would start to improve and we would no longer be punishing ourselves and feeling ashamed and guilty.

In fact we have both tried all the fad diets – we have juiced, we have 5:2’d, we have counted calories. The guilt and shame has also in the past led one of us to make herself sick after eating.
We have been running (we hate that), we have joined countless gyms (and left again). NONE of it made us happy. None of it gave us a good body image. There was NEVER a point where we felt satisfied or that we had achieved.

Towards the end of last year, we took a radically different approach to our perceived problems. We started instead to lok at our own happiness. To try and be grateful for what was good in our lives and to take time out to appreciate those things. We started counting blessing instead of calories. The result has been, for the first time, a better body image and increased well being.

So this year we resolve to step away from the scales, switch off the diet programs, scroll past the magic pill adverts and instead seek out that which makes us feel good good about ourselves. We will detox our lives and our minds. We believe this will have sustainable long term benefits for ourselves, our bodies and our families.

So why not do something different this January, join us by subscribing to our page where we hope to share with you some of our experiences, some practical advice and some of the highs and lows minus the shame and guilt. Give your mine and body a break this January and resolve to do something different. Remember, if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got.

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